Schools often have a program in which girls have to carry around dolls and treat them as if they
were real babies. Seaman should replace that program in every school across the country.
Seaman is far more effective in teaching patience and child-rearing techniques.
The game begins with an egg. You must plant the egg in the fish tank. A shelled creature in the
tank must be made to eat the egg. Then, the creature will mutate in a scene not unlike the
stomach-birth alien scene in the film "Alien."
The new-born creature is a Seaman, a fish with a human face. Seaman will babble like a toddler,
every word indistinct.
Since Seaman comes with a microphone, you can talk to the tadpole-like creature until he or she
talks back. After a few days, your Seaman will learn a few words - simple words like hey, baby,
good, hello, and stupid.
Taking care of Seaman requires that you maintain the water temperature between 15 and 20
degrees as well as keep the water clean with plenty of oxygen.
The game keeps track of how often you visit. If you go on a five-day vacation like I did, you can
expect a messy tank when you return.
The experience of Seaman is long-term. The game is designed with the idea that you will
interact with Seaman for at least 10 minutes a day. A full experience is said to last about a
I have been nurturing my Seamen specimens for weeks now, and my teen-age Seamen are
already throwing their feces at me. The feces slides down the glass tank walls until it rests on the
Seaman will surprise you with the knowledge he gains about you over a month's period of time.
At one point, he asked me what I did for a living. As a joke, I responded "sex." Not missing a
beat, Seaman said, "You work in the sex industry?" He continued by making a sarcastic
comment about not getting any health insurance through that kind of job.
When you are able to take on any semblance of a conversation with a game, avoiding trash talk
and verbal abuse is extremely difficult. You just can't resist the urge to see how Seaman would
How you treat and care for Seaman will directly affect the experience of the game. There is no
right ending; if Seaman dies, you just play again and see if you can play God a little better next
Seaman is a novel title that runs the risk of being overlooked by any gamer. You can't judge this
game on the basis of a rental period. You have to check in with it like you check voice-mail.
Yes, Seaman will tick you off with his one-sided conversations and stupidity, but that's the
whole point. If you can't survive Seaman, then you have no business being a parent.