out of 4
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Review by Andrew Hicks
2½ stars out of 4
OH NO would be a more suitable title for this one. It's the
first James Bond movie, but it hardly ranks as one of the best. Sean
Connery is entertaining as usual as 007, but the movie itself lags. The
action and death trap scenes are barely thrilling. Besides that, the plot
is never actually explained. We know Dr. No has his underwater
hideout beneath an island, but what's it there for? What nuclear device
is he about to launch at the end of the movie, and at what target? It
wouldn't hurt to let the audience in on these things.
Bond is off to Jamaica in DR. NO (and, if you've never heard
someone with an English accent say, "Hey mon!" you're a mighty
deprived person) to find out what happened to a missing fellow agent.
Along the way, he wakes up to find a tarantula in his bed (It's sad
when you're so drunk you don't know who you're going home with.)
and trespasses on No's island, where he finds a beautiful woman
(Ursula Andress) gathering seashells. He also finds a few Jamaicans
opening machine gun fire on him. You have to take the good with the
bad... Sorry, I've been working on the side as a fortune cookie writer
lately. My favorite message to people who have just finished eating
Chinese food: "Your sweet and sour pork was infected with E. Coli
DR. NO is worth watching just because it was the movie that
started off the seemingly endless set of sequels. It's one of the weakest
Connery vehicles (with YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE taking the cake),
though, and has much more dialogue than action. You know a James
Bond movie moves slowly when Bond only nails two women in the
entire movie. Promiscuity is the all-encompassing gauge of success...
Another one of my cookie fortunes. I apologize.
Copyright © 1996 Andrew Hicks
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