In a sea of women patients as raucously noisy as Grand Central Station at rush hour, their Ob-Gyn, Dr. T (Richard Gere), reigns supreme. A dozen noisy "fillies" wait for him while gabbing a mile-a-minute. Most are ostentatiously wealthy women with long blonde hair. It's the sort of office in which a patient, after getting the good doctor's wise advice, runs through it shouting, "I'm going to be the best damn menopause patient you've ever had!" This is greeted by boisterous applause from the staff and patients.

As God's gift to women, Dr. T proudly spouts his rules, worthy of pillow embroidery ("Never take a good woman for granted" and "Women by their nature are saints and must be treated as such."). The doctor drives a big, old, cream-yellow Cadillac convertible with "DR T" vanity tags. His favorite past-time is hunting with his buddies.

The state of Texas (the setting of the story), especially it's place names and famous women, are so prominently featured that one wonders if the state had to fork over a large product placement fee. The doctor's examination rooms are all named for well-known Texas women including Ann Richards, Belle Starr and Phyllis George. The story even flaunts the great apartment rental prices offered in the Dallas area.

The movie's large and talented cast swarms around Gere likes he's the queen bee. His performance, wise and soothing, is the best of the bunch. It's too bad that the flitting and unconvincing script and direction gets in the way of our enjoying the acting.

Dr. T's wife, Kate (Farrah Fawcett), is losing her mind due to a disease that afflicts, we are told, only "women who are loved too much." This causes her to strip completely naked in an exclusive shopping mall and dance in the indoor fountain. This is first of many hard to buy episodes from Anne Rapp's script. Notice how people just walk right by with few noticing a crazy, naked blonde, dancing and singing away. Kate is the type of wife who notifies her husband that there will be no more sex, ever, since "it's not nice."

But don't worry about the good doctor, he'll still get his. Although she knows he's married, Bree asks him over to her place. After dinner she gives him a come-hither look and strips naked so that he can get from her what he's not getting at home. This casual approach to infidelity should give viewers pause.

Other unbelievable parts of the narrative include the patient who insists on smoking like a chimney during her entire examination. And another who wears a hat with a large feather during hers.

The story is way too cluttered. One of the doctor's grown daughters, Connie (Tara Reid, BODY SHOTS), works as a guide at The Conspiracy Museum in Dallas. This plot device allows Altman to take us to the infamous Texas School Book Depository. Connie, pointing to the literal "X" in the road in front of it, enthusiastically tells her tour group, "That's where JFK's head exploded."

Kate Hudson (ALMOST FAMOUS) gets a small part as the doctor's other daughter, who is about to get married. As her Maid of Honor, Liv Tyler is a woman with a secret in yet another of the many subplots. Laura Dern is a mother who is a bulimic lush. And Shelley Long is the doctor's unflappable office manager.

The script's quirky charm does sometimes manage to shine through the clutter. But the ending, reminiscent of MAGNOLIA's raining frogs, reminds us again of everything wrong with the movie. For my money, the only Dr. T movie worth seeing is the 1953 movie, THE 5,000 FINGERS OF DR. T., based on a Dr. Seuss story and starring Hans Conried as Dr. T.

DR. T AND THE WOMEN runs a long 2:01. It is rated R for graphic nudity and some sexuality and would be acceptable for older teenagers.