In this course students we will study in detail a native speaker
of an unknown language. For this we have contracted an academy award
winning actress by the name of Jodie Foster. To direct her we have an
equally acclaimed director by the name of Michael Apted.
Although Foster's is a sole performance we have arranged to have
well known actors Liam Neeson and Natasha Richardson play learned
doctors who are studying this native speaker who we will refer to
simply as NELL. Neeson and Richardson have no real parts, but we fear
you may be bored silly by Foster's pedantic and excessively earnest
performance if we do not have someone else in the movie even if they
are an after thought.
As you watch scene after scene of NELL speaking in tongues, you
will eventually either fall asleep or begin to actually understand the
language since it is a sort of pig Latin. We recommend sleep, but you
can choose. If you watch Foster's eyes, you will see that she appears
to either be on some mind altering drug or is herself falling asleep.
We should warn you there is a final exam where you will be asked to say
"Guardian Angel" in Fosterspeak.
Some nationally known reviewers have put this course in their top
ten of the year list while others have it on their bottom ten. This
may confuse you. We suspect that after 15 minutes of this course you
will have made up your mind but will be worried that you are being too
hasty in your judgment.
Well, there are those of you who may be tempted to stay through
the entire course although it runs a tediously long 1:53. You may
think that the course has to get more interesting as it evolves. Be
under no such illusion. The tone of the show is major serious. Listen
up and don't worry that we will break the soporific mood by any levity.
Copyright © 1995 Steve Rhodes