Woody Allen's "Celebrity" reminded me a little too much of his soporific
"Stardust Memories," which was also filmed in black-and-white and concentrated
on the nature of celebrities. This film is superior but suffers from the same
lack of comic energy and enthusiasm. For the first time since his overrated
comic segment in "New York Stories," I felt Woody's heart was not in the right
place for this material.
"Celebrity" stars Kenneth Branagh as celebrity hound and interviewer Lee Simon,
who drives an Astor Martin to attract and have sex with all the female
celebrities, while getting the scoop on their precious moments of fame and
recognition. He gets oral pleasure from a famous actress (Melanie Griffith -
less annoying than usual), and he gives a brief moment of orgasmic pleasure to
a model (thrillingly played by Charlize Theron). What he really wants to do is
write a novel about celebrities, but he lacks the self-confidence to finish it,
even with the help of a sexy book editor (Famke Janssen).
Lee is not a happy person, though, and lacks self-control. He regretfully
divorced the shrilly Robin (Judy Davis), a schoolteacher who is afraid to deal
with life after divorce. She resorts to religious retreats and superstar
plastic surgeons, yet the answer may lie with a TV producer, Tony Gardella (Joe
Mantegna). Robin decides to work for him at a busy TV station where she meets
an assortment of talk show guests, including skinheads, overweight people,
Hasidic jews, and a prostitute (Bebe Newirth). The latter shows her how to
perform oral sex by using a banana (a witty take-off on Madonna's famously
similar oral display in "Truth or Dare"). In the process, Robin becomes a TV
celebrity host.
There are many good jokes in Woody's latest opus. My favorite is Charlize
Theron's sleepy, sexually polymorphous model (a bit cribbed from "Annie Hall")
who brings everythingto a halt when she appears- she could be the next Sharon
Stone (who appeared in "Stardust Memories"). I also loved the gala movie
opening where Lee sees a famous director (Andre Gregory) who makes "arty,
pretentious movies in black-and-white". There's also a vivid sequence involving
Leonardo DiCaprio as a superstar actor who trashes hotel rooms and beats up his
girlfriend (Gretchen Mol) - he makes such a startlingly violent 10-minute
entrance that it is a real shame when he exits. And there are several quips
about novelists, particularly one moment where Lee sleeps with one of
DiCaprio's escorts, who insists that she writes `like Chekov'.
The central figure in "Celebrity" is the nervous chatterer Robin Simon, played
with pitch-perfect precision by the indomitable Judy Davis. Her character is a
wounded soul searching for meaning in her universe, and she has her
reservations about getting married again. Her character is so real, so vivid,
so humane that it is a shame Woody didn't invest the same interest in the other
characters.
For example, there is the crucial Lee Simon role (played by Kenneth Branagh),
who is miscast and obviously uncomfortable with mimicking Woody's famous tics
and neurotic stutters. His role is severely underwritten, lacking any of the
pathos or charm that Woody would have brought to it. Branagh is better off in
Shakespeare country, or when he commands an American accent in his own work,
such as "Dead Again." The aforementioned Charlize Theron disappears too soon,
as well as the comic fury of DiCaprio.
Still, there's an element of bewitching attitude and class to Winona Ryder as
Lee's girlfriend, a promiscuous actress who can't commit to one man. The
virtually unrecognizable Bebe Newirth is also exceedingly good as the
soft-spoken prostitute. Joe Mantegna brings back the suave coolness that he
brought to Allen's thoughtful Alice, which also starred Judy Davis.
"Celebrity" is a good film, but it doesn't have the manic, furious energy of
"Deconstructing Harry" or "Husbands and Wives," one of his greatest films. It
is surprisingly chaste and unscrupulous in its attack and commentary on
modern-day celebrities. With its abrupt ending and uneven characterizations,
"Celebrity" is simply filler until the next great Woody Allen film.
Copyright © 1998 Jerry Saravia