Columbia Picture is hitting the high-school and children's
market hard this year. Movies that the core teen audience
can look forward to include "Dick," about two women students
who wander off during a class trip to the White House, meet
President Richard Nixon, and end up as the official walkers of
his dog, Checkers. Yet another is "Idle Hands," a comedy-
horror movie that details the terror and fun that occurs when
the Devil possesses the right hand of a clueless 17-year-old
slacker. Why should we look forward to these without
knowing more about them? Simply because they sound
original, an advantage notably missing from the typical
offering of the genre. Which brings us to Columbia/TriStar's
"Jawbreakers," unoriginal and almost admittedly so, as its
writer-director, Darren Stein, heralds his mission to relive the
teen movies of his own high-school days and put together a
story which is a collage of their themes.
"Jawbreaker" is the sort of film that allows movie buffs to
take pride in their ability to recognize scenes appropriated
from previous works. You should be able without much
difficulty to pick out motifs from "Carrie," "Grease," and
"Clueless," and even "Frankenstein" is evoked by Mr. Stein's
imagination. But the film--which calls itself a satirical horror-
comedy, is not particularly funny, nor does it display much of
the standard horror routines. There are no scary, false-alarm
scenes of people coming at you from behind but turn out to
be friends. Nobody is slashed or beheaded and not a single
girl or boy turns into an octopus or even a lowly slug.
Though the movie features a strong performance by Rose
McGowan in the role of the tightly controlled and attractive
Courtney Shayne, it is no more involving or imaginative than
fare that can be picked up on the tube--a seven o'clock
feature film, perhaps.
The eponymous jawbreaker is its main metaphor. A
jawbreaker is a hunk of round candy that's sweet on the
outside but, if chewed up, will disjoin your jaw and allow your
dentist to put a down payment on a new Porsche. Director
Stein aims to portray the most popular girl in school as one
who is easy to look out but watch out: she has nerves of
steel and will have you for breakfast with her diet-conscious
fat-free yogurt toasted English. (In this regard, the
jawbreaker is the diametrical opposite of the sabra, or prickly
pear, which is tough as nails on the outside but dulcet within.)
The story centers on Courtney (Rose McGowan), a high-
school senior who would be a shoo-in for prom queen in the
upcoming dance were it not for the thoroughly sweet and
beautiful Liz Purr (Charlotte Roldan), who is considered the
cat's meow. Courtney conspires with her dense friend Marcie
Fox (Julie Benz--who looks like a young Sally Kellerman) and
her hesitant pal Julie (Rebecca Gayheart) to kidnap Liz on
her 17th birthday and stuff her with pancakes. She and her
pals break into Liz's home, stuff a jawbreaker into her mouth,
gag her, and pile her into the trunk of a car, but when they
open the back of the auto after arriving at the pancake
house, they discover that Liz is dead of asphyxiation. When
the wallflowerish school nerd, Fern Mayo (Judy Evans Greer)
Greer), catches the trio trying to make Liz appear the victim
of a rape-murderer, she is bribed into silence by a beauty
makeover, which transforms her into a virtual princess named
Vylette.
Customs of the high-school girls are ribbed together with
the character of the principal and some teachers, however
ineffectively. A quick scene of the cooking class (where one
girl breaks open a bloody egg described by an onlooker as a
stillborn) is not amusing and of anatomy class hardly rib-
tickling. As principal Miss Sherman, Carol Kane is not in the
same class as her counterpart in "Grease." While Courtney--
who is to meet her comeuppance at the school prom--
thankfully does not possess the telekinetic powers whose
excesses sank both the movie and the Broadway musical
"Carrie," her character displays not even a modicum of
originality. Nor does her dialogue contain any of the wit that
can easily be found in a humdrum tale by Stephen King. You
can be beautiful and sweet, you can be gorgeous and a bitch.
And the class caterpillar can turn into a vain butterfly. But
then we always knew that.
Copyright © 1999 Harvey Karten