out of 4
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Two If By Sea
Review by Dragan Antulov
1 star out of 4
Hollywood studio executives believe that quantity always lead
towards quality. So, just like they tend to combine two popular
trends in single movie hoping to reach wider audiences, they also
tend to combine charismas of two or more popular performers,
without much consideration whether those performers belong to
same project or not. One of such examples is TWO IF BY SEA, 1996
comedy directed by Bill Bennett.
Protagonist of the film is Frank O'Brien (played by Denis Leary),
small-time burglar whose girlfriend girlfriend Roz (played by Sandra
Bullock) got tired of his criminal lifestyle and wants to settle down. In
order to please her, Frank makes one last job that would solve
couple's financial needs and steals valuable Matisse painting. In
order to evade pursuing police and Frank's greedy partners, they
take refuge in the small island community off the coast of New
England. There they find vacant summer house, break in and later try
to pass as its owners to the neighbours. One of the neighbours is
refined and wealthy Evan Marsh (played by Stephen Dillane) who
begins to charm Roz with his sophistication and opulent lifestyle.
Confronted with alternatives to Frank, Roz begins to weigh her
options, while FBI, led by Agent O'Malley (played by Yaphet Kotto)
and Frank's former associate Wayne Callahan (played by Beano
Robson) close in.
Sandra Bullock, mid-1990s queen of romantic comedies, and Denis
Leary, comedian who built his charisma on the archetype chain-
smoking foul-mouthed angry young man, don't mix well. But this is
not the worst problem with TWO IF BY SEA. Characters played by
those two actors are simply too dislikeable for the audience, mostly
due to their utter stupidity - trait that they share with any other
character in this sorry affair. If Leary and two of his co-writers
thought that the audience would equate stupidity with hilarity, they
were dead wrong. The movie is at times almost painfully unfunny.
The only good thing about TWO IF BY SEA are Nova Scotia
locations, but there are other, less painful ways to get familiar with
them than to sit through 96 minutes of this disaster.
Copyright © 2003 Dragan Antulov
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