When Bobby Burns advised that the best laid schemes of
mice and men gang aft a-gley, he did not mean his caution to
be taken as literally as director Peter Berg, writer and director
of "Very Bad Things." This madcap adventure that veers
unsteadily from farce to horror and back again may be
considered pointless by some, but it has all the markings of a
comedy of manners. In fact if it were written in England
during the reign of Charles II, it would fit in handily with a
company of restoration comedies and would probably have a
more lyrical title such as "A Hooker Hook'd." Its present
awkward title notwithstanding, "Very Bad Things" is a most
entertaining piece, one with an edge that so many Hollywood
creations still lack in their efforts to please everybody with
celluloid variants of elevator music. Its ending, a payoff
which Mr. Berg thoroughly earns from careful foreshadowing,
is a stunner, the very antithesis of the feel-good windup that
the studios contrive all too often in order to please an
uncritical audience.
Like other comedies of manners whose aim is to send up
the hypocritical gentility of the moneyed classes, "Very Bad
Things" lampoons the pretensions of a group of young people
whose ages run from twenty-seven to about thirty-five, some
of whom are ensconced in high-income jobs in brokerage
houses and the real estate game while another, a comely
lass, is of uncertain profession but obviously from a
prospering family. With a wedding about to take place
between Kyle (Jon Favreau) and Laura (Cameron Diaz), the
two sides with their friends and associates make busy with
plans that make sense only because of rituals which are
imbedded in the culture of their social classes. That their
plans go horribly amiss as do so many such foolish designs
is the very essence of writer Berg's premise. For her part,
Laura has absorbed the middle-class notion that a wedding
celebrates the most important day in a woman's life. She is
obsessed with getting every last detail correct, from the way
the guests' chairs are padded to the cleanliness of the
ushers' fingernails. For his measure, Kyle is agreeable to the
bachelor party which his friends have planned for him, though
he appears not especially enthusiastic at first. He'll go along
for the ride if only because he's good-natured enough to
comply with the rules of his society.
"Very Bad Things" is notable for its sheer variety of
images, which roam from an erotic dance by an gorgeous
Asian stripper whom Salome would envy to the gruesome
vision of a hotel bathroom whose walls are so bloodied that--
as one young man notes--the place looks as though the
Manson family had lived there for a month. The story, which
moves forward relentlessly, takes flight as Kyle heads by car
from an L.A. suburb to Las Vegas with his friends Robert
(Christian Slater), Charles (Leland Orser), Michael (Jeremy
Piven) and Michael's contentious and tightly-wound brother
Adam (Daniel Stern). They gamble, drink, snort coke, and
best of all enjoy the lap dancing of a stripper who has been
hired for $900. When a turned-on Michael agrees to pay the
exotic dancer an extra $500 for a go in the hotel bathroom,
he accidentally impales her on a hook in a moment of
passion, killing her instantly. After Robert literally screws an
investigating house security guard with a bottle opener, they
agree to cover up the two crimes by packing the
dismembered corpses in their luggage and burying them in
the Nevada desert.
When it comes to murder, two killers is a crowd. No way is
this group of five friends to go about their daily routine
as though nothing more than a last stab of a groom's
freedom had occurred. The weak link is Adam, the guy
whose conscience makes cowards of them all. Engaging in a
round of nervous mini-breakdowns over his guilt as an
accessory, he becomes the catalyst for a series of
cataclysms that brings the quintet's latent hostilities to the
surface and results in an additional pileup of bodies.
In their individual ways, Slater and Diaz are the
showstoppers here, with the current star of the Broadway
drama "Side Man" acting as the leader of the his quincunx of
quidnuncs. Interceding at several points to calm
down the two hyper brothers played by Daniel Stern and
Jeremy Piven--who have been probably been sibling rivals
from Day One--Slater emerges from this blood-splattered orgy as
an off-the-wall fury determined to cash in on the very murders
he strives to cover up. An episode of martial arts combat
with one newly-established widow (played by Jeanne
Tripplehorn) proves a gem of film editing that would please
Jackie Chan, while the blood-soaked comeuppance on a
wedding-hall stairwell recalls and exceeds the terror of a
comparable scene Bryan Singer's "Apt Pupil." While
Cameron Diaz's stunning suburban California countenance
never deceives us (she is a forceful bully determined to walk
down the aisle by any means necessary), we can still register
shock by the revenge she unleashes on one man who stands
in her way.
Despite a final scene that combines pathos with flat-out
ghoulish hilarity, it's not likely that "Very Bad Things" will
deter women from demanding their budget-busting
aspirations to be queen for just one day in their lives. Nor
will the macho sex surrender their God-given right to enjoy
themselves for one last time before the fateful march down
the matrimonial corridor. But thanks to Peter Berg's
unswerving objective to draw ever-moving battle lines in the
Nevada sand and California silt, "Very Bad Things" flourishes
as a genre-bender whose untenable scenes are oddly
believable.
Copyright © 1998 Harvey Karten