Usually double features have two different movies that are shown back
to back. THE CROCODILE HUNTER: COLLISION COURSE, however, is actually
two completely different movies that are interspersed together. One
is a comedic pseudo-documentary type of show that is projected with
a traditional television aspect ratio. The other is a normal wide
screen movie about a lost spy satellite. Although their stories briefing
come together at the end, the main thing that they share in common
is that they are both bad.
The stars of the documentary part of the picture are Steve and Terri
Irwin, who play themselves as they do on the "Crocodile Hunter" TV
series. Steve is the Jerry Lewis of the naturalist world, exaggerating
his every gesture. With eyes the size of saucers, he says things
like, "Has she got a set of fangs, or what?" He delivers every sentence
as though it had an exclamation point. He slowly pronounces each
and every syllable as if he were speaking to someone just learning
English. It has been said that either you like his shtick or you
don't. I don't. I find that listening to him for very long is rather
like hearing the proverbial fingers across a blackboard.
The spy satellite movie, which doesn't star the Irwins and which wasn't
even filmed at the same time, is a throwaway movie that plays like a cable movie reject.
Other than a cute joey, the movie has only one redeeming feature -- eventually, it ends.
THE CROCODILE HUNTER: COLLISION COURSE runs a long 1:25. It is rated
PG for "action violence/peril and mild language" and would be acceptable
for kids around 6 and up.
My son Jeffrey, age 13, gave it one half of a star, only for the joey.
He said that the movie will bore every age group and that there is no plot.
Copyright © 2002 Steve Rhodes
out of 4
