Who wastes time watching Tiger Woods,
When real action comes from the boyz in the hoods?
What a drag checkin' out golf and tennis,
When you can chill with the rappers, get the feeling of menace.
The new blockbuster it's called 8 Mile,
The folks in the picture ain't makin' a pile,
They live with their moms in the trailer park,
Borin' jobs in the day, but wait until dark.
That's when all the cats go to Shelter,
To forget their days in hot dreary smelter,
They don't care a fig for what's already on tape,
Make up the rap while the audience gape.
What's so special 'bout this feature by Hanson?
After all they ain't doin' hardly no dancin'!
Instead what's so remarkable here
Is that blacks and whites get together for a beer
And plan together how to top the opponent,
The English language is the principal component,
See, first one guy raps, puts the other dude down,
And hopes real hard the opponent will frown,
Then this other dude, the star stops and spatters,
As though to marshal up the proof that he matters,
He puts down the dude, says "you live with yo' mama,"
Which makes the other guy think like Jeffrey Dahmer.
8 Mile doesn't have much violence,
Yet the audience gets some recompense,
In our seats see Eminem the famous,
Call the other rapper a big ignoramus.
To get down to facts the picture's about,
Some Detroit guys who don't want to go out.
They all just happy to be in the hood,
They don't want the burbs even if they could,
They seem pretty happy just friendly and all,
Though at times they do things that make others appall,
For example there's this babe named Stephanie,
Jimmy Smith's mom, who is sexually free,
She complains to her son that her lover will not,
Do the very thing that would get her most hot.
Then there's cute Alex who wants to model,
More the femme fatale than one you need to coddle,
The sexy chick is Brittany,
The real hot mom is the great Kim B.
The coolest of the lot, Future, ain't no alabaster,
Played by Mekhi Phifer as the ceremonies master,
Future wants the white guy to beat the brothers,
Jimmy S would do just that if Future had his druthers.
To sum up, the picture's about a white
Who lives in a black world but has no fright,
Au contraire, Jimmy digs his pals,
And they in turn support him and so do his gals.
Unlike other movies of the hip-hop persuasion,
That feature singers, black, white and Eurasian,
Who want to be actors like Cube and Madonna,
This one suits Eminem, gives him honor.
He lacks the charisma of Morgan and Denzel,
But anchors this movie, makes it all pretty swell.
Copyright © 2002 Harvey Karten