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Review by Dustin Putman
1 star out of 4
To sit in the dark and witness the supposed-to-be epic, 173-minute
spectacle that is "Alexander" is to be utterly mystified at how writer-director
Oliver Stone (2000's "Any Given Sunday"), an innovative and usually
reliable filmmaker, could go so disastrously wrong. A biopic of one
of history's greatest and most successful leaders, the film fails
to enlighten the viewer about who this man really was. He is largely
portrayed as insecure, unimposing, and oftentimes weepy, not exactly
traits you would expect from a renowned king who managed to conquer
nearly the entire known world by the time of his death at age 32.
This flaw, which should safely fall on the shoulders of Stone and
co-screenwriters Christopher Kyle (2002's "K-19: The Widowmaker")
and Laeta Kalogridis, is, indeed, a fatal one, but it only scratches
the surface of the problems this picture is burdened with.
"Alexander" lumbers from one minor episode to the next in the life
of Alexander (Colin Farrell), who is relinquished the crown as King
of Macedonia following the death of his father, Philip (Val Kilmer).
Uninterested in documenting the many battles he waged in order to
conquer much of the European continent—only two are even glimpsed
onscreen—director Stone, instead, focuses on Alexander's yearning
to be a great king amid constant doubts; his rocky relationship with
his sorceress mother, Olympias (Angelina Jolie); the wife he took
in Roxane (Rosario Dawson) as a supposed means of fathering a child;
and his one true love, childhood best friend and warrior Hephaistion (Jared Leto).
There is no clear-cut plot, no thematic palpability, and no rhyme
or reason to what Oliver Stone has chosen to include and leave out
in his final cut. The film consistently plays like a compilation of
scenes from the cutting-room floor, with all of the material that
should have been shown skimmed over by the narrator, Ptolemy (Anthony
Hopkins). Because of this, "Alexander" is not only a soulless mess,
but also exempt of character or historical depth.
The first time Roxane is glimpsed, for example, she is dancing with
her group of fellow Asian dancers. The second time she is seen, Alexander
is marrying her, with the delirious suggestion from Ptolemy's voice-over
that he may have actually loved her. Tellingly, the central scene
involving Rosario Dawson (2002's "25th Hour"), as Roxane, finds her
in a violent wrestling match with Alexander in the bedroom that leads
to them tearing off their clothes, knife-fighting, and culminating
with Alexander practically raping her. Meanwhile, the first of the
two battles, this one waged against Persian forces, comes out of nowhere,
appearing directly after the death of Philip and Alexander's rise
to the throne—which isn't even seen until an awkwardly placed flashback
over an hour later—and offering no background on the subject and little
sense to any of it. Even as an action sequence, it is a failure, the
shaky, confused camerawork making the fight close to incomprehensible.
Much publicity has been made of the homosexual undertones in "Alexander"—he,
as so many men back in that era, was openly bisexual. What is seen
onscreen aren't undertones at all, but, surprisingly, a major running
plot point. For a hugely budgeted studio picture, director Oliver
Stone is downright brazen in what he has been allowed to portray from
this part of Alexander's life, and it is the picture's one aspect
that should be applauded. There is never any question that Alexander
and Hephaistion are deeply in love, with plentiful longing stares
and passionate embraces. Furthermore, there are none-too-subtle allusions
that Alexander is about to be "serviced" by his effeminate male servant
in one scene, whom he is later shown kissing. This gay element is
bound to turn off a fair share of close-minded mainstream audiences,
and may just seal the deal of its box-office failure, but it stands
as a courageous and transcendent move that is much appreciated. It
is unfortunate, then, that the love story between Alexander and Hephaistion
is so haphazardly and sappily written. It also doesn't help that,
with their gorgeous, flowing locks, their eyeliner, the showy rings
on their fingers, the jewelry around their necks, and even scars on
their bulging biceps that take on the appearance of tattoos, these
two soulmates look more like modern-day rock stars than valid ancient warriors.
Colin Farrell (2003's "SWAT"), he of the thick Irish brogue, darkly
handsome looks, and bad-boy reputation, may not appear at the onset
as an obvious match to play the part of the blond Alexander the Great,
but he handles the role with skill and willingness. It isn't his fault,
after all, that Alexander has been so sketchily written. As mother
Olympias, Angelina Jolie (2004's "Taking Lives") takes on an odd Russian
accent that actually works in spite of itself, and hams up her scenes
with a rabid, juicy aplomb desperately missing from the rest of the
film. Jolie doesn't have much more to do than handle and play with
her pet snakes while looking suspicious, but she does it well. As
one-eyed father Philip, Val Kilmer (2004's "Spartan") drinks heavily
and stumbles his way through his scenes. Finally, Jared Leto (2002's
"Panic Room") brings unforced intensity to Hephaistion, even if he
mostly stands in the background undressing Alexander with his eyes.
"Alexander" is an enormous cinematic mess destined to gain an infamy
rivaled by the likes of 1980's "Heaven's Gate" and 1997's "The Postman."
As an epic adventure, the movie is slow to the point of almost being
inert; it takes almost a full hour before it begins to catch its stride
and things start happening in the vague outline posing as a story,
and even then the scenes arrive with wobbly inconsistency. One spends
so much time questioning the how's and why's of director Oliver Stone's
inane insertion of throwaway parts of Alexander's life, while discarding
the major events, no less, that it is impossible to get involved and
take a rooting interest in the goings-on. The rapturous music score
by Vangelis (1982's "Blade Runner") is grand and sweeping, and would
be perfect for an epic more deserving. Placed here, however, it is
almost laughable, the high emotions brought about from the music never
coming close to matching the stifling indifference found on the screen.
"Alexander" is not so much mind-numbingly boring as it is intriguingly
nonsensical. There is a train-wreck quality to the proceedings that
cannot be denied; even when the film seems like it can get any worse,
it does, which keeps things fascinating for all the wrong reasons.
The only visually and emotionally resonant moment for actual intended
reasons is the third-act, elephant-filled battle against India, but
it comes too little, too late to make a difference. "Alexander" is
a bloated, embarrassing miscalculation on the part of director Oliver
Stone. He may have set out to make an awfully powerful motion picture
about a ruler "who conquered everything he set out to, except Hephaistion's
thighs," but what he has really concocted is just plain awful.
Copyright © 2004 Dustin Putman
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out of 4
