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All-Reviews.com Movie/Video Review
Catwoman
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 out of 4
| *Also starring: | Benjamin Bratt, Lambert Wilson, Alex Borstein, John Cassini, Frances Conroy, Michael Daingerfield, Aaron Douglas, Frances McDormand, Byron Mann, Michael Massee |
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 Review by Harvey Karten 2½ stars out of 4
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Human beings (not just Americans, Mr. President) are masters
of this planet, but let's face it. There are things that the so-
called lower animals can do that we can't handle at all. We
can't sniff out illicit drugs from 100 feet away as a trained dog
can; we can't run as fast as a cheetah; we can't even fly on our
power like a pigeon or even a flea; nor can we climb trees like a
squirrel, go through winter without eating or, in most cases, be
as independent of other human beings as can a cat. Imagine as
an example that you die and are reincarnated instantly as a
feline, and not an ordinary tabby but a proud breed that dates
from the ancient Egyptian empire. This is not so unusual; it
happens every day that Pitof's "Catwoman" will be playing in
theaters around the world. The title character is a timid,
constantly apologetic artist aptly named Patience Phillips is
killed by security guards at a plant that manufactures a beauty
product, is washed away into a river, and is reborn through a
kind of osmosis with a kitty into an angry, free, fulfilled feline.
No more cages for this shy woman, who like Spider-Man may
occasionally have second thoughts about what she is doing but
emerges so convinced that she wants to remain Catwoman that
you can be sure of a sequel.
The story opens as Patience, who wants to be an artist but
instead must make do drawing for an ad agency, is chewed out
by her egomaniac boss, George Hedare (Lambert Wilson) who
is the CEO of a corporation about to introduce a beauty product.
George's workers can't be blamed for hating him, since even his
own wife, Laurel Hedare (Sharon Stone), is fed up. With forty
years under the belt, she has lost his interest. Hedare is about
to introduce a new product not unlike Botox, which not only
deletes wrinkles but turns the facial skin it touches to a
marmoreal consistency. Trouble is that when you stop using it,
you not only go back to your natural, aging self, but you wind up
with hideous skin that would be the envy of the Frankenstein
monster. The Hedare Corporation does not want anyone to
know this.
This is where Catwoman comes in. Having been accidentally
privy to the secret, she pursues the people who tried to kill her
(oops, make that who succeeded in killing her), and while doing
so gets into many a Spiderman-type adventure. She leaps tall
buildings with a single bound, has the strength of a leopard and
not just an ordinary cat, and loves to smash through glass
buildings, in one instance to frustrate a trio of jewelry thieves
(while she keeps a prize ring for herself, thus making her partly
a bad cat). She is pursued in turn by Detective Tom Lone
(Benjamin Bratt), at first for romantic reasons and then as a cop
who suspects her of murder.
"Catwoman" has a few corky one-liners, as when she knocks
a bad guy to the ground, grabbing her face and stating, "Cat got
your tongue?" and she gives a new, literal meaning to a cat fight
during the film's climactic showdown. Halle Berry's looking
mighty good, and should there be a movie about a 008 she
could make a fine Jane Bond. The rapidly-edited fights, which
are frequent, look fake which, of course they are, nor should we
assume that the Egyptian cat who follows Patience's new career
is a real one trained by the Dawn agency. Cats are not like that,
and neither is Catwoman, who might want to check into a chat
line and hook up with Tobey Maguire. There's just one
character who is terminally irritating: the man-hungry friend and
co-worker of Patience, Sally (Alex Borstein), who talks about
men as though she were a fifteen-year-old, but aside from that
some pretty standard computer-generated effects and some
unintentional laughs make this popcorn pic somewhat less than
the cat's meow–well except for one thing: A principal motif (an
excellent parody of Botox, by the way) holds that a corporation
whose product will disfigure women once they stop using it.
Would the company be afraid of a class-action lawsuit that
would easily bankrupt the firm as soon as the gals run out of the
product?
Copyright © 2004 Harvey Karten
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