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Review by Harvey Karten
3½ stars out of 4
They say that you should watch out for the strong, silent types.
They're dangerous. Whenever do you suppose that expression
came into existence? I'll take a wild guess that the aphorism
emerged from developments in Texas in 1973, when a group of
silly teens, perhaps thinking like all other teens that they were
immortal, made a series of ill-advised moves that resulted in
triggering a fella who was a real cut-up. Based on a real event,
"The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," a remake of the 1974 film that
Premiere Magazine named "the best horror film of all time," is
this time blessed with a budget quite a bit more than the
$150,000 that Tobe Hooper enjoyed in that version starring
Marilyn Burns, Gunnar Hansen, Edwin Neal and Allen
Danzinger. Free of the pretension of Daniel Myrick's "The Blair
Witch Project," which was touted by an audience as one of the
scariest movies ever simply because we never get to see what's
causing all the horror, Marcus Nispel's remake of the '74 classic
actually advances the genre to a new level of fright. The current
version, which deservedly placed #1 in its opening week at the
box office, has unrelenting frights, sexy performers, and a family
of weirdos and a director presumably contemptuous of the
current crop of satirical sagas like the "Scary Movie" series and
the redundant acts of Freddy Kruger and his ilk.
Considering the critical and mass acclaim of the original, it's
no wonder that a series of sequels would be spawned, including
writer Tobe Hooper's directorial effort in "The Texas Chainsaw
Massacre 2," Jeff Burr's "Leatherface" (cannibal clan battles
three would-be dinners said to have been damaged by pre-
release cuts that modified the gore), and the Matthew
McConaughey-Renee Zellweger vehicle directed by Kim
Henkel, disappointing in its absence of cannibalism and
chainsaws. Horror fans will be happy to note that this time
around, director Nispel pulls out all the stops with unrelenting
gore, dripping blood, a veritable laboratory of body parts on and
off meat hooks, and a villain who has the support of people
you're almost likely to meet in some rural areas of places like
Texas.
The only thing lame in this version is a teen who loses part of
his leg when overtaken by Leatherface who like Robert Downey
Jr.'s character in the upcoming "Singing Detective" is a victim of
a horrendous skin disease. This guy, though, saves money by
avoiding botox and going with a leather mask which effectively
covers a nose-free face that only a mother could love and
indeed does.
The crew of teens, appealing dudes who just want to have
fun, have crossed the border from Mexico where they
purchased a pinata full of marijuana when they barely miss
hitting a dazed young woman (Lauren German) on the road.
They pick her up. Mistake number 1 and a really big one. As
Erin (Jessica Biel), her boyfriend Kemper (Eric Balfour) and their
three coevals wonder what they should do about the back
window of their van, now shot out and drenched with blood, they
run into a series of misfortunes that justify a statement by a
sadistic sheriff (R. Lee Ermey in the most riveting performance
of the picture), "You brought this on yourselves."
What they brought on themselves after making one bad
decision after another creates the genuine, heart-pounding
thrills of this blood bath, featuring missing limbs, a crucifixion, a
guy (Andrew Bryniarski) who despite his heavy chainsaw can
run faster than any of these 19-year-olds, and a technically
solid, musically enhanced film that honors the horror genre.
What more can a gore fan want? Right, Mr. Ebert?
Copyright © 2003 Harvey Karten
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out of 4
