n "The Faculty" a bunch of high-school kids discover that
their teachers are from another planet. So what's new? We
knew that for quite a while but we differed about the location
and makeup of the world that they were from. [Critic's aside]:
Truth to tell, high-school teachers are from the planet
Masochist in the galaxy Milquetoast Way. They take guff
from the kids who think they're being picked on, given the
wrong grades, or being forced to think. They take nonsense
from administrators whose principal preoccupation is not with
learning. They accept drivel from the public who resent the
decent vacation time; from the government, which does not
allow them the right to strike because they are not "working
people": from parents, who complain that "no one else ever
criticized my child."
But enough asides. For the most part there's nothing new
about this movie, either, since it borrows liberally from "The
Invasion of the Body Snatchers" and "Alien." Nonetheless it
starts off on an interesting track only to deteriorate when the
new forms of life begin to take on the shape of spiders and
octopuses. If only director Robert Rodriguez avoided the
special effects baloney (which wouldn't scare a six-year-old)
and kept the aliens looking pretty much human, he would
have served up an involving drama about the attempt by bug-
like forms parasitically to take up residence in the bodies of
human beings--having discovered that they depend on liquid
to remain alive and that we people are seventy percent water.
Goodness knows he has a likable enough cast of teenagers--
two strikingly attractive and appealing young women (and one
who is passable), bouncing their ideas and bodies off three
basically decent guys.
The story opens on an Ohio institution, Herrington High,
situated in a town that tolerates it only because it has a
crackerjack football team. Coached by hotheaded Willis
(Robert Patrick), the team is captained by Stan (Shawn
Hatosy), who quits the squad a day before the big game to
concentrate his mind on academics. This puts him into
conflict with the head cheerleader, Delilah (Jordana
Brewster), who reminds him of the American tradition: head
cheerleaders date only football captains.
Based on a story by David Wechter which has been
adapted by Bruce Kimmel's screenplay, "The Faculty" is
particularly reliable in its portrait of a typical middle-class
school, filled with hormone-driven teens who freely curse
everything that crosses their path, push into one another, and
generally muddle their way through their trying years on the
way to a diploma. They try to deal with their loneliness
(newbie Marybeth, played by Laura Harris has just begun her
new life in Ohio while the allegedly lesbian Stokely, played by
Clea Du Vall is generally avoided). They put up with the
taunt of bullies, as when the nerdish Casey (Elijah Wood) is
shoved around as though he were a football. They look up to
a drug supplier, Zeke (Josh Harnett), who despite repeating
his senior year is surprisingly articulate--a wiseguy who in
one great scene taunts a repressed teacher by offering her
free, cherry-flavored condoms.
When the coach, then others on the faculty like Miss Olsen
(Piper Laurie) and the school principal, Drake (Bebe
Neuwirth), begin looking at acting zombieish, they promote
the suspicions of the primary circle of teens, who realize that
they have a bug up their ears, an insect determined to take
over the bodies of all human beings on the earth. At this
point the movie turns into a whodunit as these kids perceive
that one of them is the host, the queen bee as it were, who
has started the epidemic.
One flaw is that while the infected faculty members take on
the appearance of ghouls while the infected youngsters
become simply docile, the chief perpetrator continues to look
wholly innocent and thorougly human. Also, we never really see
how the people become infected, though we get hints that the
bugs are placed into the ears of the innocent victims in much
the way that Claudius poisons Gertrude's husband, who is
Hamlet's father.
These flaws are minor when pitted against the greatest
fault. We can accept Principal Drake as the evil administrator
who calls on the school intercom for groups of students to
report to her office for the insect treatment. But when
characters begin turning into spiders, as does a teacher
played by Famke Janssen; and into an octopus, as does the
ringleader of the infected ones; then an otherwise satisfying
film turns just plain silly. "Invasion of the Body Snatchers,"
the classic of the subgenre, was anything but nonsensical.
Opening in 1956 during the McCarthy era, it warned against
mindless conformity. The only thing "The Faculty" counsels
is to stay away from people drinking inordinate amounts of
bottled water.
Copyright © 2000 Harvey Karten